As we just celebrated our 13 year anniversary, I am taking time to reflect on the amazing marriage I have. After God, my husband is my best friend in the whole world. However, life together was not always beautiful, and I want to share how we have grown in love.
God Answers Prayers
I was only 19 years old when I both met, and married my husband. I had recently decided to give my life to God. My dream since I was 12, was to marry by 21, and I asked God just days after coming to salvation to bring me a spouse. I had a list of things I wanted in my husband including someone who loves the Lord.
That same week I met him! I had a feeling deep inside of me that told me he was the proverbial ‘one’. Yet, I put out the fleece: I would say, “God if he’s the one then he will say this, or do that.” And he would say and do to a tee all that I asked!
I couldn’t have made this romantic whirlwind happen myself if I tried! The week I met him, he told me he was going to make me his wife. And so it goes, we met in December, were engaged in February and married in August.
However, regardless of the fact that this was God ordained, we soon had times of trouble. I was having a hard time being a young mum to two little ones while he worked all day and slept or went out to play basketball after he came home. Being new to the country I didn’t have many close friends to talk to other than him. Words were spoken between us that were less than godly. I tried to upset him as much as I could, hoping he would want a divorce just so that I could say “He left me,” so that he would be the bad guy and I could go back home to the UK. Thank God he never did and the enemy didn’t win.
Change of Heart
Early one morning as I ate breakfast with my babies, I was watching a Christian broadcast and a verse came up on the screen that tugged at my heart. I knew we needed more of God’s love in our lives and I remembered what I had promised my husband on our wedding day, and that truly deep down, I loved him!
I remembered a book my mum gave me before we got married, “The Power of a Praying Wife” and one of the first things that stood out to me in the book, was that I needed to change! “I’m not the problem!” I told myself and I threw the book down in anger. Yet, I felt the Spirit within me prompting me to continue reading.
As I did my heart began to change toward my husband. I started to do what I knew I was supposed to, regardless of what I thought he should be doing. As the Lord worked on my heart, He began to work on my husbands too.
Whenever I speak to couples, I remind them that love is a choice! I chose to love my husband regardless of his faults and he chose to love me regardless of mine! We learned to serve one another, to accept each others faults and annoying habits, and bring them to the Lord instead. Of course there are times we disagree, we are two imperfect humans, being perfected in Christ! But true, unconditional love, is not love that gives up because of a disagreement or two, or ten.
As Christian couples, one of our purposes is to be light and salt to the world, an example of the love of Christ who loves us unconditionally, no matter how much we try to push Him away, or choose to do things that displease Him. The same way He loves us, we are to love each other , in marriage, parenting, friendship and other aspects of life. Marriage being the ultimate example.
I am so thankful to God that we get to celebrate another year, but I am also thankful that through the tests early on in marriage, I have learned more about the love of God. I pray that you too will see the beautiful, intricate picture He paints using two imperfect people who know unconditional love.
Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked,thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. 1Corinthians 13:4-8