Facing Fear in Birth
We talked about why we may have fear when it comes to birth in my last post. This post will talk about ways we can deal with fear in birth.
Remember Whose Are You
First we need to remember whose child we are and whose child we are carrying! We belong to God Most High! We are Daughters of the King! When we put our trust in Him fully we can know that in the birthing room, wherever that may be, God’s GOT THIS! Remember “Perfect love casts out fear.” Think of God’s prefect love. Remember things that He has done for you in the past, and trust that His perfect will, will also be done at your birth.
During pregnancy I like to pick out some scriptures that deal with fear and memorize them. For the birth of my 3rd daughter the scripture that brought me from the beginning of pregnancy all the way through birth was:
” And the Lord, He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed.” Deuteronomy 31:8
No matter what happened I knew God was with me all the way. Find scriptures that bring you peace and meditate on them while you labour.
Worship has a way of bringing to the surface some deep things you may be dealing with. I love to worship, and worshipping during pregnancy helps me take the focus off myself and focus on God. Personally less focus on self relieves me of fear. I also play worship music during my labours which I find to be one of the main things that keep me grounded. It is best if the songs you choose are ones you know well before labour. I like to meditate on the words and I know the Presence of God fills whichever room I am in as I worship the King!
Deal with Trauma
Whether it’s trauma you faced when you were born that you don’t remember, or it’s from birth horror stories you have heard/seen, or maybe even trauma from a previous birth, facing it in pregnancy before you give birth will help you let go of fear. If you don’t remember the trauma just give it to God. Ask the Holy Spirit to show you what happened and to take that trauma from you. If it is something you experienced spend time with the Lord dealing with that experience. How did you feel? Why did you feel that way? What can you do differently as you go into this new birth? This birth is a new birth. Don’t dwell on the one that has passed.
Unforgiveness is a stumbling block for a lot of us. You may be holding onto unforgiveness you don’t even know you have. Forgive anyone who has told you their horror story. Anyone who hasn’t been supportive during your pregnancy. Someone who you feel may have caused you to have an unpleasant birth experience before. Forgive your mum for not telling you things you wish you knew or for telling you things you wish you didn’t. Or maybe there is something else you feel you need to forgive her for. Also forgive yourself! As a daughter of the King, we need to know that we too are forgiven!
Write out a list of the people you need to forgive when it comes to your birth experience and give them to God! Then let it go once and for all and let the peace of God which passes all understanding guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus!
I find journalling to be so helpful throughout every pregnancy I go through. I also sometimes deal with personal issues in pregnancy regardless of the wonderful pregnancies and births I have had. Journalling or free writing helps me to pinpoint things I may not know the root of until I begin to write.
My job as a doula is to let you know you have choices. A good doula is awesome because we live and breathe birth and we have sometimes already sifted through wrong information and can help to point you in the right direction. However, doula or no doula, self-education on birth is important. Like I mentioned in my last post, good, reliable information is important. Ask the Holy Spirit to to point you in the right direction. As time goes on I will post up some resources I know and trust!
Don’t forget who God is! See my last post under the heading ‘Not Trusting God’
What are some ways you have dealt with fear in birth? I would love to chat with you. Post your comments below!